Retaining, regaining your mental fitness

Q: Is mental fitness similar to physical fitness in that if you don’t use it you will lose it? What sort of regular mental fitness regime would you recommend for a young man of 84?
A: Mental and physical fitness will both be lost if they are not given constant workouts. On-going activity for both of them is essential for maintaining high levels of both types of fitness. If there is a lapse, it will result in reduced abilities.
If you are a physically active person, and you have ever had a prolonged illness, during which you were unable to exercise, you will have noticed that when you desired to begin your regimen of physical activities you probably experienced some difficulty. It is often taxing to perform the same physical tasks at the same level of difficulty as before. It also usually takes a longer period of time to recover the physical abilities than the time the illness itself lasted. Eventually, if one takes things gradually, the strength returns and the exercise regime can assume the level that was normal for you.
The same deterioration of mental abilities happens to people who do not remain mentally active. It often occurs when retirement comes along. The retiree is so delighted to be able to relax more, that he/she may become a TV-aholic, or pursue other activities that require little critical thinking. This is extremely unfortunate because it is so difficult to start thinking in a rigorous manner once the habit has been lost. In my opinion, much of the loss really is just that of losing the habit of being aware, solving problems, and making the effort to keep the mind working. However, when such inactivity has continued for some time, it becomes very difficult to regain the lost abilities.
To begin a new regime of mental activity, I suggest that you find a challenging type of puzzle or problem that interests you. If you have not been pursuing such activities, try a number of different kinds. Check your newspaper. The comics page usually has two or three types to offer. They are usually quite easy and may often be completed along with your breakfast. If that is the case, of course, you need more to keep you occupied for a longer period of time.
Consider books of puzzles at your favorite bookstore. Some of them contain a variety of puzzle types, while others are devoted to only one type, such as crosswords. Logic problems may take some time to master, but a book of them usually begins with an easy section and works up to those that are more difficult. These require methodical, exact thinking, but give such satisfaction when the correct solution is reached! While you are pursuing these activities, don’t forget to work on your awareness skills, by using all your senses to observe the world around you.
If you look into all these types of problems and ideas, I predict that your mental abilities will grow and that you will find yourself always searching for your next mental challenge.

When living alone is no longer an option

Q: The time has come for me to consider an alternative living situation for my aging mother. Clearly, she should not be living alone any longer, yet I am not able to care for her myself. I would like to find a great "retirement home" situation, but there are so many different kinds. What would you suggest I look for in a place?
A: Depending upon your mother's condition there are, as you mention, many possibilities. They may vary from a friendly living facility with many other residents, with whom she could interact, to a complete hospital-like institution with 24-hour medical attendants.
A facility with minimal need for care, often called assisted living, can be very pleasant, attractive, and provide activities that keep the residents busy, if they wish to be. There can be individual rooms, often with small kitchenettes that allow each person to perform minimal cooking procedures if desired. A main dining room usually provides all meals as well. Food, of course, is a large consideration and must meet specific requirements for those on special diets.
If you locate a residence that interests you, perhaps you could talk to some of the residents to discover their feelings about particular aspects of the facility. Inasmuch as they reside there, their responses are likely to be on the positive side.
If your mother is capable, she should certainly help you to choose the facility that most appeals to her. Your letter sounds as if she is just now reaching a point at which she needs assistance to cope with her daily life. Having some input into the choice of a suitable place may help her to deal with the idea of losing the home she has undoubtedly lived in for a long period of time, and thus make her feel a bit more "in charge".
To this point we have addressed housing facilities that serve those needing minimal care. People are living much longer and there are more and more institutions that care for those who can do little, or literally nothing for themselves. Such a place cannot be chosen by the patient, but is usually selected by a responsible relative.
In all care facilities the most important factor to consider is superior medical attention. Be certain that the staff is composed of qualified personnel. Record keeping for each resident or patient is essential, as well as responsibility for overseeing any prescribed medications. Be sure to check carefully all details involved in the care giving. The facility can undoubtedly give you references to contact.
Most of the extended care facilities that I have visited over the years have provided little, if any, mental stimulation. Their patients are able to do essentially nothing for themselves and often spend much of their time sitting in wheelchairs, totally inactive. These residents could only benefit from some mental activities that could vastly improve their quality of life.
Making the decision that a close relative is no longer capable of self-care is always difficult and distressful. The best of luck to you and your mother.